Anger is in the eye of the beholder

03.07.25 02:37 AM - By Dr Elizma van der Smit

A story about Jake:

 

Jake has been teaching for several years in a public school. Recently he had becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of support from the school administration. He feels that his hard work goes unnoticed, especially when students don’t seem to appreciate his efforts. One day, after receiving (yet again) negative feedback from a parent about his teaching style, Jake’s anger boils over. He feels like a failure who completely lost his passion for teaching.

 

Jake’s perception of his situation is clouded by anger. He sees the administration as an enemy and his students as ungrateful. This negative lens influences his interactions, leading to a cycle of frustration that only deepens his anger. 

 

One afternoon, while grading papers in the empty classroom, Jake stumbles upon a note left by one of his students, Sarah. In the note, she expresses gratitude for his patience and how his teaching has made a significant impact on her life. This unexpected gesture sparks a shift in Jake’s perception. He begins to reflect on the positive moments he’s experienced with his students, realizing that his anger has blinded him to the small victories.

 

As Jake revisits his memories, he remembers the laughter in the classroom, the moments of connection with students, and the passion that brought him to teaching in the first place. He feels the weight of his anger lift, replaced by a sense of purpose and appreciation. He understands that while not every moment is perfect, there are countless reasons to be grateful.

 

Jake learns that his perception shapes his reality. By choosing to focus on the positive aspects of his job and the impact he has on his students, he can transform his feelings of anger into motivation and gratitude. This realization empowers him to approach his work with renewed energy.

 

Inspired by his newfound outlook, Jake decides to implement a “gratitude wall” in his classroom, encouraging students to share positive messages and acknowledge one another’s efforts. As the wall fills with notes of appreciation, Jake feels a sense of community grow within the classroom. His relationships with students and colleagues improve, and he finds joy in teaching again. Through changing his perception, Jake not only transforms his feelings of anger but also fosters a supportive environment that inspires both him and his students.

 

This story illustrates how altering our perception can change our emotional responses, leading to more positive experiences and deeper connections with those around us.

 

Here are five tips for changing your perspective to cultivate a more positive life and outlook, inspired by the story of Jake:

 

  1. Practice Gratitude: Regularly take time to reflect on what you're thankful for. Keeping a gratitude journal where you write down positive experiences or things you appreciate can help shift your focus from negative aspects to the good in your life. This practice helps to cultivate a more positive mindset over time.
  2. Reframe Negative Thoughts: When you find yourself dwelling on negative experiences or feelings, consciously try to reframe those thoughts. Instead of thinking, "I’m failing as a teacher," consider, "I’m learning and growing from my experiences." This shift can change how you perceive challenges and setbacks.
  3. Seek Positive Feedback: Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift you. Engage with friends, family, or colleagues who provide constructive feedback and encouragement. Hearing positive perspectives from others can help you recognize your strengths and contributions.
  4. Focus on Small Wins: Celebrate small achievements and milestones, no matter how minor they may seem. Recognizing these moments can build a sense of accomplishment and positivity, helping you see progress in your life and work.
  5. Engage in Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, to help center your thoughts and reduce negativity. Being present in the moment can help you observe your feelings without judgment, allowing you to respond to challenges with a clearer mindset.

 

 


Dr Elizma van der Smit

Dr Elizma van der Smit